Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be a certain way, act a certain way, believe a certain way?
It took me a long time to know who I am and to be comfortable in my own skin. I know who I am, but I’ve always struggled with being okay with who that is.
With all my quirks and insecurities, fears and anxieties, and health issues, somehow I thought that made me weird, or less than, or un-loveable.
I’m afraid that if I allow someone to get close to me, they will confirm all that I’ve ever questioned about myself.
I’ve always hated disappointing people.
I have personally felt a lot of disappointment in my life, and it’s not fun.
I am afraid that, with all of my physical issues, I won’t feel well during an event, or social situation and I will ruin our plans, a date, vacation etc.
I’m afraid that if I have anxiety or a panic attack in front of someone, they will see how unhinged I can be. That I’m not perfect. How embarrassing is it to be totally freaked out sometimes for absolutely no reason at all?! I don’t want to explain that!
I know all of that is silly. I know that no one is perfect. We all have our “stuff.” We all have our unique “weirdness.” It’s what makes us who we are. It’s what most often makes us truly adorable. It’s the “good stuff.” It’s what sets us apart from every one else. Because really, how boring would it be if we were all the same?
I’m trying to embrace my “weirdness.” Embrace and accept what makes me, me. There’s always a reason, a lesson, or a purpose to why we go through what we do, why we are the way we are. I think by embracing and accepting these things, instead of trying to run from them, or hide from them, we would find that there’s so much more to love about ourselves than we ever allowed ourselves to see.
In doing so, the things we see as the problems, turn into blessings. We can see them as reasons to give ourselves a break, realize our humanness, and to maybe release a little pain that brought it on in the first place.
In love and light
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