Relationships can be hard…
I spent a lot of time convincing myself why the relationship I was in, was what I wanted. Why I should try harder… Why I should stay.
Relationships have a way of making you think something is wrong with you. I think women especially, have a tendency to think that way. We have a tendency to hold onto hope. For a vision of how we want it to be, how we think it should be and ignore how it actually is.
We hold onto seeing the potential vs. the reality. Potential, that the other may not even see, let alone have any intention of fulfilling. It isn’t even fair to them, to paint them into a picture, that they don’t want, or are even capable of being in.
We make excuses and talk ourselves into things because, Damnit, we want it to work! Not paying attention to the glaring truth that it’s not.
Maybe you aren’t valued or appreciated.
Maybe you’re being physically or emotionally abused or treated poorly.
Maybe the reason you got together made sense at the time, but doesn’t anymore. Sometimes we get entangled with someone for one reason and we try to make it be for that reason forever, when it wasn’t meant to.
People are meant to grow, change and evolve. I think it’s great and possible to grow together, if you are both willing and can own your part in it. But I think most just stay stuck and pretend it’s something when it’s not.
I think the heart always knows. We just need to learn to listen to it. Be honest with ourselves about our value and worth. About what we want and what we don’t.
It hurts me to know how much time I spent believing in someone’s potential instead of their actions. I won’t say it was a waste of time, because I learned a lot. About myself, about relationships, about looking within and doing my own inner work. Which opened me up to receive something profound.
All of that got me to a point of knowing my worth and realizing the difference between actual and potential, hope and denial, struggle and ease.
Which is an important step that lead me to know without a doubt, I was with someone real, who was meant to be, for all the right reasons. Seeing now that it is possible to be in a relationship where you are loved and accepted for who you are. Where you don’t have to make excuses for them, or for yourself and why you’re still there. It can be supportive and safe, beautiful and effortless.
When finally what I waited a lifetime to find, I was able to find in a moment with someone else.
In love and light and finding your moment!
I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback.
