personaldevelopment | Certified Emotion, Body, and Belief Code Practioner

November 18, 2020November 18, 2020

Victim or Victor?

Alright, so we know life is going to challenge us. We know we are going to be faced with obstacles, and we will have to deal with problems.
That’s a given.
But what do we do when they come?
Do we rise to the challenge or do we fall?
Do we face it head on or do we run and hide?
Do we see that it’s helping us or think that life is just against us?
Do we accept it and figure out what we can do about it or do we look for who we can blame for it?
It can be tough to battle the hard knocks life throws at us.

The slaps in the face, the gut punches, the kick ya when you’re downs, the run your ass over with a semi truck, that backs up and does it again, just to finish the job…Sorry. I got a little carried away with that. HaHa. But it’s true. It can be tough to pick yourself up every time you get knocked down.
We have to know that every test or challenge is what makes us who we are. We might not know our strengths or resilience without overcoming our struggles.
I know a lot of people want to point blame at something or someone to justify why their life is not working. Some may find it easier to make excuses for why they stay stuck.

We see this everywhere! It’s in politics, social injustice, racism, corporate America.. It’s all over the place!!
BUT… the choice is always ours.
How do YOU want to be?
Do you want to blame, complain, be an angry victim and miserable? Trying to control what you can’t? Or.. Do you want to be resilient, strong, confident, happy, and winning at life? Taking control of what you can, your life and your actions.
I have been knocked down more times than I can count. There have been times that I did want to crawl into a corner, scrunch up into the fetal position and give up! But.. every time, I pick myself up, dust off my hiney, adjust my crown, and spread my tattered wings, and rise again.
Keeping focus on the silver lining and the benefit of everything. Each time, soaring to a new level of self awareness, confidence and possibility.
What’s your choice? Victim or Victor?

In love and light and being victorious!!

November 8, 2020November 8, 2020

Relationships can be hard

Relationships can be hard…

I spent a lot of time convincing myself why the relationship I was in, was what I wanted. Why I should try harder… Why I should stay.
Relationships have a way of making you think something is wrong with you. I think women especially, have a tendency to think that way. We have a tendency to hold onto hope. For a vision of how we want it to be, how we think it should be and ignore how it actually is.
We hold onto seeing the potential vs. the reality. Potential, that the other may not even see, let alone have any intention of fulfilling. It isn’t even fair to them, to paint them into a picture, that they don’t want, or are even capable of being in.
We make excuses and talk ourselves into things because, Damnit, we want it to work! Not paying attention to the glaring truth that it’s not.
Maybe you aren’t valued or appreciated.

Maybe you’re being physically or emotionally abused or treated poorly.

Maybe the reason you got together made sense at the time, but doesn’t anymore. Sometimes we get entangled with someone for one reason and we try to make it be for that reason forever, when it wasn’t meant to.
People are meant to grow, change and evolve. I think it’s great and possible to grow together, if you are both willing and can own your part in it. But I think most just stay stuck and pretend it’s something when it’s not.
I think the heart always knows. We just need to learn to listen to it. Be honest with ourselves about our value and worth. About what we want and what we don’t.
It hurts me to know how much time I spent believing in someone’s potential instead of their actions. I won’t say it was a waste of time, because I learned a lot. About myself, about relationships, about looking within and doing my own inner work. Which opened me up to receive something profound.
All of that got me to a point of knowing my worth and realizing the difference between actual and potential, hope and denial, struggle and ease.
Which is an important step that lead me to know without a doubt, I was with someone real, who was meant to be, for all the right reasons. Seeing now that it is possible to be in a relationship where you are loved and accepted for who you are. Where you don’t have to make excuses for them, or for yourself and why you’re still there. It can be supportive and safe, beautiful and effortless.

When finally what I waited a lifetime to find, I was able to find in a moment with someone else.
In love and light and finding your moment!

I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback.

November 1, 2020November 1, 2020

Do You Believe in Karma?

Ahhh.. Karma..

What goes around, comes around…

You never win playing dirty..

And of course, the famous declaration of Karma is a bitch…right?

I have a love/hate relationship with the use of the word karma.

I find it hilarious actually, that the ones that hide behind the stance of karma is a bitch, are usually the ones that have the most vicious kind coming to them.

They believe by saying it, loudly, at someone’s behavior, it’ll somehow bypass them, by pointing the blame at someone else.
“She did it!!!”
Like a 3 year old kid, directing karma where to go. Ha Ha.
I’m not sure that’s how it works…
However, that being said, I do believe karma is real.
Good things do happen to good people, not to those that just pretend to be.

Sometimes, those most deserving of a good dose of karmic punishment, don’t ever seem to get it. At least in our eyes. But that’s not our call. It’s not up to us. We can’t be sitting around and waiting, trying to tip the scale of karmic justice.
So instead, I choose to believe in kindness.

I believe in love.

I believe in trying to do your best and be your best every day.

I believe in inspiration and uplifting others.

I believe in allowing people to be who they are.

And the beautiful thing is, I believe we always have a choice on who gets to be in our lives, and who doesn’t. Therefore, removing the need to be the karma police.
So, whether you believe in karma or not…Or feel you have been designated as the authority on who goes to karma purgatory…Or you feel like karma has something against you..
It’s never too late to be kind, to yourself and others. To see the humanness in everyone. To start attracting the things you want in your life .And just trying to BE better, every day and in every way.
In love and light

October 26, 2020October 26, 2020

Time Decides Who You Meet in Your Life

time decides, heart, behavior, meet, want, stay in your life

Time decides who you meet in your life,

Your heart decides who you want in your life,

Your behavior decides who stays in your life.

~Ziad K. Abdelnour

Time..

There are certain people you meet at certain times or stages in your life. People you need in that moment. People that support you. People that test you, and people that teach you.

The saying that you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, is also true.

You learn along the way what you do and do not want. You learn what’s important to you. You become clear on what you will and will not tolerate. That goes for all relationships, romantic, friendships, and acquaintances. Even how you are treated by the person at the grocery store!

So yes, it takes time to experience all the lessons and learn from each person you meet. When you get to the point of knowing who you are and are clear of what you want, time allows your heart to open for the most profound relationships to enter.

The Heart…

The heart has it’s own process. Throughout life, your heart takes a beating. First loves, heartbreaks, rejections, beginnings and endings, devastations and loss, profound love and joy, to name a few.

We experience a roller coaster of emotions. It’s no wonder we build walls around our hearts. For protection, for our survival, to keep us safe. We start becoming very guarded and picky about who we allow into our hearts and our lives. The more we learn to trust ourselves, the more we allow our hearts to open to the people that can hold it safely. Your heart always knows what it wants. The challenge is in learning to trust it.

Behavior…

After time, and learning to open and trust your heart, you have brought these people to you, that you want or need on some level. This is where you truly appreciate those that enrich your life. Acknowledging and recognizing where you can take responsibility for yourself, your “stuff,” and not project it onto them.

Wounds are going to come up. Relationships are a surefire way to present triggers, and for past “crap” to reappear. It’s what we do with that, determines how well our relationships can thrive. You have to meet each other where you are. Allow, grow, and accept each other just as you are. Learning to know, and be honest with yourself, and them, about who that is.

Slapping others with your expectations and demands, is not healthy. Not seeing them as your equal, is not healthy. Having to walk on eggshells because you don’t know what’s going to set them off, is not healthy. Not appreciating each other, is not healthy.

Relationships are about love, honesty, and respect. Allowing the other to be free to be themselves. Truly appreciating them for who they are, how they are, and the many blessings they bring into your life.

In love and light!

October 22, 2020October 31, 2020

Committed to Crazy

Oh my God! Isn’t that the truth?

When I first saw this quote, I just had to laugh….Hard!
We all know that someone or maybe several someones that just make you shake your head and say…Really??! But they’re really committed to it, so it’s like, Wow! At least they’re really good at something!
To understand someone’s mind is not something easily done. So you might as well just stop trying.
Let’s face it, there are some delusional, hateful, hurtful and narcissistic people out there. People who lie to get what they want. Even worse, the ones that believe their own lies and manipulate others to better themselves.
It’s hard to be the bigger person when you have people like that around you. I know, because I had to deal with some very judgmental, very delusional, and hateful people strongly in my face the last couple years. I saw first hand how ugly people can be.

I experienced the whole handbag of vicious behavior, from stalking, to defamation of character, invasion of privacy, threats, lies, deceit, manipulation, egotistical control.. just to name a few… Lol. That handbag apparently had no bottom to it!
The list could go on and on, but it was a series of non stop, repugnant behavior, yes, repugnant. That’s a strong word. An awful, but beautiful word that encapsulates the picture I’m trying to paint.
Even after all of that, I think the hardest part was watching the tsunami of pain and anger affect the innocent ones, the distasteful way they hurt family and friends. I can take a bit of crazy, but that’s a low blow. It truly broke my heart. Taking friends, family, and everyone down around them with their pain.
Which is what all of that is about anyway. They are acting from their own pain, their own insecurities. It’s not about me. They may not be able to see their own stuff, or know how to take responsibility for it. That’s all they know. I do believe everyone does the best they can with what they know.
So, moral of the story, you may not like or understand the specific kind of crazy in your life or out in the world, but that is not your business, that is not your problem. It starts with you. Be what you want to see in the world. Be someone you can be proud of. Admire their commitment to their crazy and use it for inspiration to combat it with equal velocity of love, kindness and beauty.

In love and light!