How Will I Ever Go Back?

I know we have all had to adjust our lives some. Finding our new normal, when we were suddenly hit with change and uncertainty. All of a sudden the world was shutting down and we were overwhelmed with fear and questioning our very survival.

Though we were all affected by the same pandemic, our experience varied greatly depending on the way it affected us.

Some, unfortunately had to battle the virus or knew a loved one or someone who did. The first responders and medical community, who were, and always have been, the ‘heroes,’ were now being inundated and challenged to their very core.

Jobs were lost and businesses closed. Some jobs that were considered thankless or less than before, were now “essential” and expected to stand at the front lines selflessly providing for their communities that were panicking and breaking down. i.e. grocery workers, truck drivers, trash service, restaurant staff, etc.

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Some people hunkered down and hated it, while others saw it as a much needed vacation and loved it!

Me, being an introvert, I had been training for this my whole life!!

To have the opportunity to not have to go out?! Are you kidding me??

To be able to avoid the energy attack of others on a daily basis?? Sign me up!

To have the chance to do all the self care practices that are so important for my well being?? Yes, please.

To finally take a pause and truly listen to myself about who I am, where I was, and who and how I want to be, going forward. To be able to look at life differently. Stop chasing my own tail. Get off the road to burn out that I was on, and stop defaulting to just being on automatic pilot.

Not that everyday was sunshine and daisies. During this time, I had my fair share of anxiety, fear of the unknown and uncertainty. My own resistance got in my way on several occasions. Some days, it would not allow me to take in the full opportunity that the gift of stillness was offering me.

But, in those pure, sweet, precious moments where I could fully sink into that peace, and finally feel my feet planted firmly on the ground, I could see myself again. I could listen. Reassess my direction and what I really want to be doing with my time and energy. In these moments, my life whispers to me, welcome home sweetheart.

And I can’t help but wonder, how will I ever go back? But most importantly, why would I want to?

In love and light!